Awhile ago there was a “bad parent’ forward going around. One of the pictures had some “parent of the year” driving away with a baby, in its car seat on the roof. Clearly, the parent was an idiot. I mean, how could anyone ever do that? Right?
Don’t worry. I’m not that bad. This is a confession, and there are police involved, but no, I did not leave Max on the roof, as much as he might have actually enjoyed it.
The roof. We have a VW passat – which I love love love, but, sometimes, I wish the roof was just a tad bit lower so I could see what I put on top of it, or way higher, so I couldn’t reach, thus eliminating the possibility of anything ever going on top of it.
We went to the beach today, and it was awesome.
What was not so awesome was me leaving my sunglasses on the roof when I went to put Max in his carrier. What was even less awesome was me hearing a weird swoosh, and then bang, then scrape, and thinking “what could that be?” as I continued driving aimlessly on squinting into the sun.
I wish that this had been the only “thing on the roof occasion”, but it isn’t.
Rob and I are taking tennis lessons, and loving it. Of course, you’re tired after a lesson, and by the time you load Max, his toys, his chariot, and his babysitter in the car, its a freaking miracle that we don’t forget more. But really WHO PUTS TENNIS RACKETS ON THE ROOF?!
I’m sure that is exactly what the cop was wondering, as we were driving down the parkway, and heard that oh now, so familar woosh, bang. This time I was in the passenger sheet, and was able to look back in time to see the tennis rackets flying through the air, and bouncing down the road. And, of course, the cop turning on his lights. How embarrassing.
I jumped out of the car, grabbed them. Kept my head down, to avoid the “you are such in idiot, I would charge you, but I don’t think there is anything in the criminal code for charging someone for being a scattered brain mom” look from the police officer. As we drove away, I immediately started blaming Rob. “Why did you put the tennis rackets on the roof”??! He just started laughing. Which of course made me even more mad. “Seriously Rob?! Why would you do that?” The laughing continued. “I was putting Max in the car. You had the tennis rackets”.
“Well I didn’t put them on the roof” I said. And then, this is the problem with having a babysitter, there is a witness and someone to take the other side. “Rob put Max in his seat. You had the rackets”. Thanks. Thanks very much. I much prefer that I blame anything stupid on Rob. That is one of the reasons we get married isn’t it? to have a constant scapegoat?…maybe not.
The thing is, both times, I can’t recall putting anything on the roof!
So, if you see me, putting anything on that convenient shelf, remind me that it is not a shelf, its is a roof. Stop me. Don’t watch me. Don’t let me, or my things go anywhere near the roof….and for that matter, if you see any other mom out there doing the same. Remind them. Their brain is likely somewhere else entirely, and they won’t remember what it was, until its way too late.